Here I am, Send Me

Each day I pray for divine appointments—for myself and for the missionaries and pastors in my ministry’s care.  You never know how you’re going to be led into a divine appointment, and you never know who will be your divine appointment.  Sometimes it is someone you know, sometimes it is a stranger, and sometimes the stranger becomes a friend as a result.  Sometimes my divine appointments are directly related to my ministry, but often it seems that I was the person who was handy for the Lord at the time.

Yesterday’s divine appointment was a handy one.  On the schedule all week we have known about a sing-along that was scheduled for yesterday afternoon.  And all week I was certain that I wouldn’t go because I’m not much of one for sing-alongs.  Then just half an hour before the sing-along, I had the urge to go to the common area for an afternoon cup of coffee.  I saw them arranging chairs for the sing-along, and it suddenly dawned on me that it would be a Christmas sing-along.  Now, do love singing Christmas Carols, so I decided to attend after all.

When it was over, I began to walk back toward the elevator to go to our apartment.  Joanne was also walking toward the elevator.  I don’t know Joanne very well because we don’t have much in common, besides living on the same floor.  What I do know about her is that she is a lousy bowler who curses loudly at every bad roll.  She drinks a lot, showing up sometimes for dinner drunk.  Her boyfriend, Phil, often spends the night in her apartment.  But I also know this about her, yesterday and also last Sunday, Joanne and Phil attended Sunday services at the residents’ chapel.

After the sing-along I could see that Joanne had been crying, and I knew that about a month ago she had lost her identical twin to cancer.  She had seemed to be handling it pretty well.  Then last week she suddenly shut herself up in her room and nobody but Phil had seen her.  Empty wine bottles began piling up in the recycling bin, and I knew that she was having a very hard time.  Phil told me that her niece had sent her 150 pictures from the funeral on Monday. Nobody but he had seen her since.  So I walked with her to the elevator, just making myself available for her to talk to.

People say unbelievably stupid things at funerals.  Things that they don’t even realize are cruel.  At her twin’s funeral last month her uncle said, “Today you buried half of yourself.”  I guess he thought he was being insightful, but the remark stung badly.  She wept as she told me and I could smell alcohol on her breath.  I don’t know how much she had been drinking, but her voice got louder and louder as she cried out in anguish: “This is so hard!  I don’t know how to do this!”  I said, “Joanne, you’ve got to turn that around: now you’ve got to live for her.”  And I added, “and you will stop self-medicating.” Her bloodshot eyes locked onto mine for a long moment.  And I prayed for her right there in the hall.  When we arrived at our floor, I pointed out our door and said, “If you need me, I’m right down the hall.”

I don’t know how Joanne’s story will end, but I do know this: Joanne seems to be reaching out to God, and God in response sent me.  God is good!

Beautiful God

This morning I was meditating on God’s beauty and goodness. Consider this: the most beautiful things and places on earth, whether natural or manmade, are only a pale reflection of His own great beauty. Likewise, everything good in life (friends, love, chocolate) is just a small glimpse of His own great goodness.

Take some time today to meditate on God’s beauty or to meditate on His great goodness. And give Him thanks and praise. God is good! I can’t overemphasize it: God is good!

Rescued by My Misfit Church

Two of Mom’s three dogs are “rescues,” that is that she got them from the pound instead of from breeders.  Rescues tend to be mixed breeds, and if not adopted, they will be euthanized.  In many ways, I can relate to rescues because I feel more like a mutt than a pedigreed purebred.  And like the dogs, I was under the sentence of death, but Jesus rescued me.

All my life I’ve felt like a misfit.  I didn’t know precisely what to call that feeling until I moved to Italy.  As a foreigner in Italy, I finally understood this misfit feeling to be feeling foreign.  Yes, all my life I’ve felt foreign in my own country, and even among my own family.  Peter Wagner in his amazing book, Your Spiritual Gifts can Help Your Church Grow, points out that this is a sign of a missionary gift and calling.

I moved to Asheville over a year ago, but in truth I have spent very little time living here.  During this time I have visited a few churches to which I had been invited, but mostly attending Mom’s church and going to Bible studies and services here in the retirement community.

The first church that I was invited to (the day after moving day) was the church next door.  It is a small, very friendly church and the worship style is chandelier-swinging—which I love.  I like worship that is uninhibited and free because then I know that the people behind me (I prefer sitting down front) aren’t shocked by my uninhibited show of love for my Lord.  I have visited some churches where I have gotten comments about the freedom of my worship.  One pair of teenage girls once told me, “Wow!  You just don’t care!”  That could be taken a number of ways, but I prefer to take it as a compliment.

Most of the time I live in Italy.  And because of my traveling lifestyle, even when I’m in the US, I haven’t had a whole lot of opportunities to attend this church or get to know its people.  Until now, that is!  Before going to the conference in Dallas, I attended a Sunday evening service (before Thanksgiving) in which each of us was asked to share what we are thankful to God for.  In hearing about what they were thankful for, I learned that almost everybody there was a rescue like me—rescued first by others in the church, and then by Jesus.  Many of them are misfits like me.

The associate pastor told me that the church’s mission is to help those people who have been wounded by bad church experiences.  Certainly there are a lot of those, not just in Asheville, but all over the US.  It certainly is good to know that there is a place where misfits can fit together and all of us can be rescued—by each other and by the Lord.  I love my misfit church!  God is good!