Tag Archives: relationships

Encouragement from Above

Posted on by

0

A Facebook Friend, A Powerful Testimony, A New Brother in Christ

Recently, I have suffered some very hard blows.  These attacks really hit me where I live, and were difficult to take because they came from dear, trusted friends.  And they caused one of my closest friends to suffer, which is even harder to take than my own suffering.  Initially, I saw only the people involved.  I reacted as I usually do, with my Texas-style bluntness—speaking the truth without tact.  But after prayer, I began to discern the enemy who had used these friends against my friend and me.  Can those relationships be restored?

That was my question to God Tuesday morning.  Immediately, I got several encouraging messages through e-mail and on Facebook.  These friends and their messages so encouraged me that I began to believe that these relationships can, indeed, be restored.

One person who encouraged me greatly is Angelica, a missionary who lives very close to Milan.  I was so moved by her kind words that I felt an immediate and deep desire to meet her in person.  She was very enthusiastic about the prospect of meeting me, too.  So I started making plans to go visit Angelica immediately.

No sooner did I make that decision, than I heard from another friend, Casey, who lives in a small city in Tuscany.  Casey invited me to come hear Tony Anthony speak at a church in Modena that evening.  Since Angelica’s town is halfway to Modena, and since Casey told me that we had accommodations for the night, I said yes.

Tony’s testimony is powerful and very moving, and I encourage you to follow that link to his website.  On the train to Modena, Casey met an African man from Ivory Coast.  She talked to him about Jesus, and invited him to come hear Tony speak, too.  And he did.  He asked Jesus into his heart!  That’s what it’s all about: sharing the Gospel!

Between trains, I’d only had a moment to hug and greet Angelica on Tuesday, but Casey and I returned to Angelica’s home for a proper visit yesterday.  We had that immediate intimacy—a meeting of the hearts—that only comes from sisterhood in Christ.  We laughed, we cried, we prayed, we praised God.  We had a marvelous visit.  Now that I know how close she is, I can go visit her whenever I’m home in Milan.

Anyway, God used all of these things to encourage me after the difficulties and disappointments of recent events.  But more than encourage me, God has strengthened me to believe that the relationships can and will be restored—if I can let Him speak more tactfully through me.  Please pray for me to speak the truth in love, but also with delicacy and tact that can mend bruised relationships.  God is good!

Betrayal

Posted on by

1

The Bait of Satan by John Bevere

Day Six

This is day 6 of a 21 day fast for understanding the End Times (now), and knowing how to prepare for the perilous days ahead.  Today I heard a sermon by John Bevere based on his book The Bait of Satan.  The key scripture is Matthew 24:10-12, in which Jesus is speaking of the End Times (NKJV):

And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.  Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many.  And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold (emphasis mine).

He pointed out that the word translated as love is agape, Christian love.  So Jesus isn’t speaking of unbelievers, He’s talking about God’s people.  People in the church—Christians—will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.  Lawlessness will abound in the church—among Christians.

Lawlessness means being a law unto yourself, not submitted to God’s authority.  So, not necessarily sinning, but definitely not submitted and following Jesus.  In an atmosphere of lawlessness, of course many will be offended.

Proverbs 18:19 says: “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle” (NKJV).  In those days strong cities were surrounded by walls, also called strongholds.  2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says:

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (emphasis mine).

Instead of the word pretension, the Phillips translation says “every deceptive fantasy and every imposing defence that men erect. . .”.

Bevere said that an offended person’s thoughts become strongholds—arguments, deceptive fantasies, imposing defences—and that is how offense leads to betrayal.  He defines betrayal as seeking to benefit or protect one’s self at the expense of someone you have a relationship with—the ultimate abandonment of a relationship.

Betrayal leads to hatred.  Hatred is not a strong emotion like love or anger, but is the absence of love, lovelessness.

Going back to Matthew 24, verse 11 says: “Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many.”  An offended heart is the breeding ground for deception.  They will genuinely believe that they are right, when in fact, they are wrong.

Offense and deception lead people to isolate themselves: “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment,” (NKJV, emphasis mine).  Rather than seeking God’s wisdom or the guidance and counsel of their pastor or believing friends, the offended and deceived person isolates themselves and rages against all wise judgment.  They seek only their own counsel.  Isolation happens in the thoughts.  It is very likely that the offended person still goes to church, but remains isolated in their mind, which makes them a perfect candidate for deception.

“. . . because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold,” (Matthew 24, verse 12).  The person is not seeking God, and not submitted to God’s authority, and likely they were already lawless before the offense.  When offended, their love (agape) will grow cold (hatred).

The person who can offend you the deepest is the person closest to you—your spouse, best friend, or pastor.  And it is very likely that the offended person has been genuinely mistreated.  But Bevere points out that if you want to walk with God, you don’t have the right to be offended.

This past year I have seen offense and betrayal up close and personal 4 times, in both marriages and ministries.  Twice I was a participant.  Once I was the party offended.  I had been so angry as a result of the offense that I was literally out of my mind.  It is true that this person genuinely mistreated me, and it is also true that there was no actual sin involved.  My wake-up call came when I couldn’t stop myself from raging at this person to the point of tears and fleeing from my presence.  That’s when I realized that my anger was way out of proportion with the offense.  I sought God and asked forgiveness from Him and from the person, both of whom were gracious to me, and there was a full reconciliation.

In the other incident, I had thought that only the other person was offended by something I had done.  In fact, we were both offended and we both betrayed each other.  I had been so deceived as to believe that I hadn’t been offended and that I hadn’t betrayed this person.  But in prayerful examination, I now see the truth.  The devil had been working both sides of this situation.  In this case, I’m not sure how to be reconciled to this person, but now that I can see my part in it, there’s at least the hope of reconciliation.

Be warned!  The deception is very powerful.  Verse 13 of Matthew 24 continues: “But he who endures to the end shall be saved.”  You can be right as right can be, and still go to hell because of your attitude.  We’ve got to be alert and firm in our love for one another.

To see John Bevere’s full sermon follow this link: The Bait of Satan.  God is good!  He’s also very patient with me!

Gotcha! Part 2

Posted on by

3

My re-conversion story continues . . .

One day Della, my backdoor neighbor, invited me to come with her on a weekend trip to Richmond, Virginia for a business convention.  Durham to Richmond is only about 4 hours away, and with a 15-year-old and a 2-year-old in the house, I was ready for a getaway.  In the car, Della asked me why I was an atheist.  I knew that she was a Christian, so I told her about the babies and Phillip’s death; and I braced myself for the argument that I was sure was to come.  But it didn’t.  She listened respectfully and did not try to argue with me.  Della’s stock went way up in my book.  I didn’t know that it was even possible for a Christian not to argue about matters of faith (or lack thereof).

We had a nice weekend in which I heard lots of motivational speakers in a festive atmosphere at the Richmond Civic Center.  Then on Sunday morning Della checked us out of the hotel and announced that we were going to church.  I was furious.  “Didn’t you even hear what I said in the car?” I sputtered.  As we pulled up to the Civic Center she shrugged and said, “You can stay out here if you want to.”  I looked down the street and there was nothing open, nothing to do, and no people around.  I looked the other way down the street and it was the same thing—nothing at all to do for the next 2 hours.  So I went in with her, telling myself that this would absolutely be the last time I would ever go to church as long as I lived.  The music was 1970’s gospel rock and soul that I recognized from when I first became a born-again Christian.  They were playing songs from The Imperials, Keith Green, The Bill Gaither Trio, and Andre Crouch—songs I knew and loved.

As we found our seats, I was feeling relaxed because of the music.  The Civic Center was oval shaped, with theater seats.  There was no more than an inch of space between my knees and the seat in front of me.  Della was sitting to my right.  On my left there was an empty seat and then a couple, Fred and Joanne Smith, by the aisle.  The Smiths were friends of Della’s.  The business leader was behind a podium positioned at one end of the oval to my left, which means my head was turned left (toward the empty seat) to see him.

He gave a very entry-level sermon, starting with how Jesus had fulfilled every single one of the Old Testament prophecies.  He went on to illustrate how against the odds that was by saying that it would be like covering the entire state of Texas with silver dollars, marking one, tossing it into the state at random, and having someone blindfolded find the marked silver dollar.  I had heard this before, and being from Texas, I know very well just how enormous Texas is.  See how God set things up, with the music and including Texas in the sermon?  I smugly looked around, thinking that these other people were probably hearing this for the very first time, but I already knew it.

Then he talked about how the New Testament prophecies are being fulfilled today.  I had heard this before, too, and it made me very nervous.  To be honest, I had always believed that Jesus would return to rapture the Church during my lifetime—but I didn’t know if I would be ready or not.  I started thinking about what it would be like to be left behind, and it made me tremble.  And hell?  Well, I just refused to even entertain that thought, though I was aware of it.

Then to my very great relief, he gave an altar call, and I sighed.  It’s almost over!  That’s when I felt a hand—3 fingers—touch me on the left shoulder.  With my head turned in that direction and an empty seat beside me, I can say without a doubt, it was no human hand.  That touch set off a wave of power that crossed my body and had a definite back-slosh.  It got my attention.  Then I heard as an audible voice in my head: “Get up and come on.”  In my head I argued: “But I don’t believe in You!”  Obviously, I knew whose voice it was.  The Bible says that His sheep know His voice.  He didn’t say anything else.  He didn’t have to!

What happened next, I can only imagine, is that He must have stopped time for me as I struggled with the decision.  What went on in my head was something like this:

Wow!  This is God!

But I don’t want to go back to Christianity.

This is God!

But my life would have to change. . .

He loves me!

But I don’t want to change my life.

I don’t deserve His love!  (What I kept coming back to was that love.)

If I say no to Him, He will respect it and leave me alone.  (That thought rang in my head as clear as a bell.)

But if I say no it might be my last chance ever.

And that was the thought that pushed me over the edge.  I made my decision, and amazingly, the altar call was continuing, though it seemed to me like half an hour had passed.  In my head I pointed out to God that the Smiths were between me and the aisle (remember the space was very tight).  As soon as that thought entered my head they stood up and I don’t know where they went, they just vanished.  Then I ran to the altar, hoping that I wasn’t too late because I was sure that a lot of time had passed.  There at the altar I rededicated my life to Jesus.

When I came back to my seat, Della’s face was covered in tears.

In the car on the way home, I asked Della where the Smiths had gone.  She said, “They didn’t go anywhere.”

“No!  They got up and left as soon as I decided to go to the altar.”  She repeated, “They didn’t go anywhere.”

“No, no, no!  They got up and left.  Ask them where they went.”  She shrugged.  About a week later, Della told me that the Smiths told her they never went anywhere.  I have no idea how I got by them so easily if they were there all the time, but it looks like God really cleared the way for me.  In fact, all along the way, He orchestrated every detail to make it easier and more desirable for me to say yes to Him.  God had invited me back at the very first moment when I was ready to return to Him—before I even knew it myself!

If you have someone you love that has walked away from the Lord, take encouragement from my story.  God knows exactly when and how to reach that person.  Don’t damage your relationship by always harping on their need to change or return to God.  Instead, pray prayers of faith and let your life speak to them of God’s great love and acceptance.  Loving and accepting them doesn’t mean that you love and accept their sin.  But remember that Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners, (Romans 5:8).  He is patiently waiting for just the right time to invite them back.  God is good!

If You’re Happy, Inform Your Face

Posted on by

0

I was thinking about Bill this morning.  Bill does something that most Bulgarians don’t do—he smiles.  He smiles a lot.  It’s not that he has no problems, but Bill really gets it: that he has an Almighty God that is on his side.  In fact, many Christians (both here in Europe and in the US) don’t even get it.  Some Christians are always complaining about money, their job, health, relationships, unreliable car, you name it.  They rake over the past again and again, looking for clues there.  Often they struggle with sin in their lives.

The problem is that their focus is all wrong.  They are focused on obstacles, problems, troubles, sin, and behaviors (both theirs and others’).  The solution is so simple, and here it is:

Focus all your attention

and all your affection on Jesus.

That’s it!  If you focus your attention on Jesus, problems shrink to their proper proportions, and you begin to understand that truly nothing is impossible for you if you believe.  I told Bill that it’s like the moon.  You look at the moon and it looks so small that you can hold it in your fingers.  But the moon is really very big.  It’s just that we are very far away from the moon.  Whichever you’re closer to is the thing that seems biggest: your problems or your God (I wrote about this in greater detail in my book “Laughing in My Dreams”).  He liked that and said that he wants to use it in a sermon.  Bill is a very encouraging person.

Likewise, if you focus your affection on Jesus, you will lose all interest in sin.  You will begin to see sin for what it really is: enslavement.  One of the devil’s cleverest lies is that sin is fun.  There may be fun moments, but I have never had more fun, and more continuous fun than I’ve had since the day I completely surrendered to Jesus—not the day of my conversion or of my rededication, but total and complete surrender came just 4 years ago.  And that fun will never, ever end!  One of the coolest quotes I’ve ever read on laughter comes from “The Screwtape Letters” by C. S. Lewis.  The book is supposed to be a collection of letters from a demon named Screwtape to his nephew and protégé, Wormwood.  About Christian laughter, he says:

Something like it [laughter] is expressed in much of that detestable art which the humans call Music, and something like it occurs in Heaven—a meaningless acceleration in the rhythm of celestial experience, quite opaque to us.  Laughter of this kind does us no good and should always be discouraged.  Besides, the phenomenon is of itself disgusting and a direct insult to the realism, dignity, and austerity of Hell.

That blew me away the first time I read it.  Whenever I start to take myself too seriously, I remind myself that dignity comes from pride, and belongs in Hell.  It’s good to laugh, and especially to laugh at yourself.  As my friend, Bob, says, “God is not a killjoy!”

So listen to how you talk.  Are you always complaining?  Always unhappy, disillusioned, dissatisfied?  Always asking for prayers?  Get closer to God.  Faith comes by hearing the Word of God.  Get the Bible onto your MP3 player and listen day and night.  Just like a rocket ship to the moon, you’ll find God to be big enough to stand on.  God is good!

My Plans Plus Hurricane Sandy Equals God’s Plan

Posted on by

2

Last year when I prayed about and booked travel to the US, God changed and enlarged the scope and purpose of my plans, using the Bastrop Wildfires (http://www.nbcdfw.com/weather/stories/17-Missing-in-Bastrop-Fires-1554-Homes-Destroyed-129616998.html).  He had told me to return to the US for five months, so I thought I would be using that time to fix up and sell my house.  Instead, my house became available just when my brother and his family needed a place to live.  Their house had burned down in the wildfire.  That left me without my plans for those five months.  In thinking about it before flying home, I said, “Lord, what am I going to do for five months without a house?” not really asking Him, just musing, but He answered immediately, saying: “Promote missions in Europe!”  And I saw that it was a fantastic idea.  So I attended conferences and spoke at churches and to church groups about Europe as a mission field.

It was a very fruitful trip, and my brother and sister-in-law helped me fix up the house to sell, so everything worked out even better than I could have hoped for, certainly better than my original plan.

This year God has changed my plans using Hurricane Sandy.  Waaay back in May I prayed about and booked travel back to the US for three months.  My travel date was October 31.  I had less than a week between returning from the Tallinn, Berlin, Moscow trip to get ready.  That left little time for seeing friends before flying back to the US.

One friend in particular that I had wanted to see before going was Francesca, an Italian missionary to Cambodia.  But I returned to Milan only to find out that she was in the hospital, surely dying.  When I went to the hospital the doctors told me that she had already died.  I visited her in the hospital morgue, which I wrote about in my post “Goodbye Dear Friend” (http://europeanfaithmissions.com/2012/10/30/goodbye-dear-friend/).  The celebration of Francesca’s life (what others call funeral) was scheduled for October 31, my departure date.  I felt bad about missing it because I hadn’t gotten to see any of her family at the hospital.  When I learned that my flights were cancelled because of the hurricane, I was grateful to be able to attend after all.  Her son remembered me, and it was good to be able to tell him how much I had loved his mother.

Another friend I had wanted to see was Giulio, whom I had met in London two years ago.  We had set a dinner appointment for my return from Moscow, but illness had incapacitated him, so we had to cancel.  With the change of plans, I was able to have dinner with Giulio (fully recovered) last night.

Finally, there was Enza, a dear friend for many years.  I had felt bad that I hadn’t had time to pay her a visit, even though she only lives a block away.  This morning I visited with her, and we made plans for a visit to her house in the country in February when I return.

I know that a lot of peoples’ travel plans were disrupted by the Hurricane Sandy.  How we react to a change of plans reveals a lot about ourselves, especially our flexibility and our trust in God.  At first I was not pleased about the change of plans, but not because of delayed travel.  I was unhappy at having the United Airlines website telling me that all my flights were on schedule, and then after schlepping my bags all the way out to the airport to find that they were all cancelled.  Of course they knew and could have updated their website accordingly.  United Airlines handled all this very badly in my opinion, and cost me over 3 hours travel time to the airport, and €16 for the bus ride.  But I’ve learned that the quicker that I can remind myself of God’s goodness, and the fact that He is in control, the happier I will be.  So while on hold with United, I did an attitude adjustment.  And that’s when I saw the opportunity in the delay.  If I had allowed myself to remain annoyed with United (and justifiably so!), I might have failed to see the opportunity to see these three dear friends.

Having visited my friends, I feel ready to leave Milan for three months.  And as I prepare for my travels tomorrow, I realize that relationships are important to God.  God is a relational God who delights in loving relationships: our relationships with one another and even more, our relationship with Him.  God is good.